Volunteer… or else we’ll find you.

We already know your child’s classroom. We already know Friday pickup. We already know you “meant to sign up last week.” This is just the reminder with extra eye contact.

If you don’t volunteer, we have to do it all — pizza Fridays, book-fair bookmarks, carnival booths, the feast, the jog-a-thon, teacher appreciation, movie night, and the website that somehow still needs “just a quick update.”

We’ll still find you. At the curb. In the parking lot. In the group chat you muted. In your dreams, holding a stack of napkins and smiling like this.

We’re not mad. We’re just… attached. To this school. To these kids. To the idea of you bringing paper plates on Friday.

Fine. I’ll volunteer Take me to the calm page

This page is a joke. The Parents Group is made of actual humans who would rather you sign up than hunt you for sport. (We will still find you, though. Affectionately.)